Power dynamics in parent- child relationships: a child labour dilemma

One of the salient ways in which children's engagement in work impacts on the child- parent relationship is the notion of children's disobedience towards their parents and undermining the traditional parental role. Parental guidance generally serves to curb children's risky behaviours and attitudes; however, working children seemed to develop self-confidence through autonomous actions as a result of their income earning role (Blum, 2011). While the children demonstrated ingenuity in the face of adversity, parents described how their instructions were disregarded, which seemed to obstruct the parent-child relationship. Although “parents may accept the income generated by the children, they express concern at the level of disobedience exhibited by their children” (Ayodele & Olubayo-Fatiregun, 2014, p. 23). This is demonstrated in the case of Ben, who assumed the responsibility of working when his father's pension allowance was insufficient to provide for his schooling or other family requirements:

Ben's Father: “Ben comes home late sometimes, since he started working, if he is not returning at 8.00pm, then its 8.30pm, but I understand some days are not very busy for him. I have advised my son not to stay that long to avoid hanging out with bad boys but he would not... this bothers me ”.

My father always wants me to be home when I am not working, I don 't like this, I like having some time with my friends after work ”.

Ben's father feels undermined by his son's disregard for his instructions which are important for his safety, since he senses that his son may be keeping bad company and may be at greater risk, the later he stays out.These situations illustrate the manner in which child labour influences power changes, since children contest the parental position in the family by refusing to conform. On the other hand, it may be Ben's way of getting leisure time in his busy schedule. Research by Moses (2008) and Omorogiuwa (2016) confirm that the socio-economic conditions of families, which influence the notion of children's roles, are often displayed in the power dynamics between children and adults. In this instance, the presence of a power struggle is observed in the parental change of role, which becomes evident from children's disobedience.

For Qury's whose mother is a single parent, and lost her job, the extent of the defiance was very extreme as described in the excerptsbelow.

Qury 's mother:“The money from the boy's work is helpful to the family. The only challenge is that Qury is now very stubborn, very difficult these days, if I say one he says two. He has no single fear for me anymore. He is now the `oga' [master] in the house since he started working. I find it difficult to control him ”.

Qury: “Even with my work to help us, my mother argues with me all the time, later she says I am stubborn”.

These illustrate how some children wield control and expect parents to yield entirely to their wishes, by ignoring and challenging them, which is indicative of the way in which a change in role influences power play as well as parental dignity. Mitik and Decaluwe (2009) support that the substitution of parental role by children may reduce their power, as children believe they have the capacity to resist parental influence because of their income earning. Parental power being limited in this way significantly inhibits parents ' ability to maintain parentalrelation ship with their children and prevents them from guiding appropriately.

This shift in role seems to reduce parental power while increasing the power of children, which is problematic and not in their best interests of both the child and parent. Some parents experience extreme frustration and distress at the new-found authority of their children since it not only impinge on their rights as parents, but essentially mocks them. The narratives below illustrate how children perceived their mothers as objects to be subdued, reacting with wilfulness that openly defies their instructions.

Ota's mother: “He talks back at me these days; he is not as polite as he used to be. Money has changed him, he flouts me, he stands against every advice of mine, if I say don 't do this, he will do.... We quarrel most of the time, he doesn't mind, but I am worried”.

Ota: “My mother wants to be telling me what to do all the time, but I will say no, let me do want I want, after all I am trying for us, and then she will say I am not obeying her ”.

These situations illustrate how the influence of parents becomes limited, which engenders disrespect for parents and countering their advice. Similarly, the following quotes show how parents and children feel due to the role change:

Marosa's mother: “I am not comfortable with her behaviour anymore, she doesn't listen to me. So many times she will refuse to greet me when b ack from school, when I ask, she will say she is trying; I should be greeting her instead... I don't know whether she is now another madam here or I am still the one ”.

Marosa: “I work all the time, ifI am not appreciated, I will help myself”.

Dora's mother: “Sometimes my daughter pays no attention to me when I am talking to her. It worries me, I don 't like this”.

Dora: “I like to be myself.... but my mother keeps saying I am ignoring her”.

The narratives above reveal a state of insubordination of children to their mothers and a means of displaying their financial influence, which is likely to reduce the power of parents in the family context. These acts of non-compliance support the ILO (2006) report that although children's income is considered crucial to family survival, they utilise various measures of disobedience to oppose parents' authority within the limits of their control. Hence, the notion of being disobeyed by children intensely impacted on some parents ' sense of dignity and compromised their rights as parents, as some found solace in the hope that someday they would find a job.

Children's rebellious behaviour is also seen in their non-participation in household tasks. For example, Ruth sells pap daily and earns income for the household, but her grandmother explains that her ability to determine Ruth's responsibilities at home is limited.

Ruth's grandmother: “I cannot say I don 't like it as she is working,... But now this child does not want to help with the housework anymore. She has made up her mind n ot to work at home, `I earn the money we use, and I am tired now '... she says. So, she leaves the house chores for her younger sister and me”.

Ruth: “After work, grandma still wants me to work, even when I am tired, so I usually refuse, because my sister can do that”.

It emerges from this narrative that Ruth is challenging the status quo as a result of the change in their financial condition. Perhaps it is unrealistic for her grandmother to expect her to perform household chores, as her sister is capable of managing housework. Given the number of hours worked by children, it is to be expected that they would be reluctant to work at home and the stress and pressure could result in resentment and rebellion. This situation confirms the contention of Blum (2011, p. 63), who confirms that parents' account of “children's economic contributions to families' sustenance sheds light on the power dynamics entangled in family relationships founded on work”.This reversal of role, which is indicative of a power change, contributes to conflict and distress in families already facing enormous hardship. The manner, in which the dynamics of power is intensified in the context where aggression is utilized as a strategy, is discussed below.

Power as a Context for Aggression

Some children displayed authority over parents not just through rebellion and disobedience, but in some cases through aggressive behaviour. Cavell and Strand (2003, p. 41) suggest that “aggression is linked to children's need for control and influence in paren t-child relationships”. Some children used anger to deflect the authority of parents as well as hostility, humiliation and a tendency towards violence to pressurise parents to stop chastising them. The narratives below are indicative of the environment of fear and intimidation created by children as income earners, which influenced the parents' inability to control them.

Greg's Mother: “He seems hostile since he works. Anytime he meets me and the other children at home watching TV, he will be angry. He will shout: `You are all enjoying yourselves at home... .[he even points at me] you make me suffer '.... little boy pointing fingers at his mother because of money”.

Greg: “What I don't like is that I will be working, everybody will be at home enjoying, watching TV, it pains me and I will not be happy ”.

These narratives demonstratehow the child understandably resents having to work and feeling that the rest of the family is not putting in the required effort but benefitting from his labour. The child's response is to some extent legitimate, given his struggle to assist his household, however, the level of intimidation and aggressive behaviour approximate violence, which concerns parents. Patterson (as cited in Cavell and Strand (2003, p. 41) affirm that “most children who work develop aggressive tendencies in order to wield considerable power in their families”.If parents are constrained and siblings repressed to the extent illustrated in these narratives, the ability of parents to exert authority seems compromised. Chally's behaviour is similarly aggressive, as related:

Chally 's Mother: “He beats his younger ones these days, they do not even look into his eyes twice... .as small as he is. They don't respect me; no one respects me in this house. He keeps saying... I can 't stop him from fighting them... that will mean more trouble. He is feared now our.... big brother in the house ”.

Chally: “When I return from work my younger ones do not greet me, they must respect me or I beat them”.

These narratives illustrate how instilling fear in siblings results in parents being submissive to the children and afraid of repercussion if they challenge them. The issue of being greeted first seems to be an important indicator of children feeling respected and powerful given their economic role in their family. When this doesn't happen it is likely that children become frustrated, angry and in some cases resort to violence to imbibe respect. Marais and Meier (2010, p. 51) concurs that the “possible reasons of disrespect can lead to children fighting and bullying other children, which allows them to experience a sense of control and authority ”. However, if children continue to relate in this manner, they have the propensity of developing more grievous antisocial behaviours.

Another tactic used to suppress parental control is resentment. Titi also works to assist her single mother who is sick and cannot work; however, she has become extremely aggressive and displayed resentment, which affects her mother emotionally.

Titi's Mother: “She is a source of help to me. She complains of not getting an assistant, but I cannot afford one. She is now so harsh; too much as if wanting to fight me, shouting and talking in high tones and sometimes refuses to attend to customers I have pleaded with her but she doesn't want to understand”.

Titi: “I would like it if my mother employed somebody to assist with the work at the shop. I will then have enough time for myself and my school work, not having assistance makes me angry always”.

The use of aggression as exhibited by Titi is particularly evident in situations where children appear to feel powerless by the circumstances that force them to work. Titi's appeal for assistance in the store seems to be a call for help, since it appears she is unable to cope. While the anger and irritation is perhaps expressed incorrectly, it may be the only way Titi is able to convey her frustration and helplessness in the situation. Whilst this kind of behaviour is not acceptable it is in a context with little options. Cavell and Strand (2003) support that children who exercise powers through hostility are capable of maintaining a sense of discomfort and make parents yield to pressure. The manners in which children wield restrain on parental power and authority as a result of their working role fundamentally challenges the dignity, rights and authority of parents.

The behaviour and attitudes of some of the children in this study suggest that to some extent they apply aggressive measures to wield power over their parents. Although Lilly works to assist her mother, her behaviour towards her mother is insensitive. The excerpts below reveal:

Lilly's Mother: “She gets so annoyed sometimes, when she is not satisfied with her food... or when there is no food at home. She will say `in spite of my work, you don 't give me food', she will not talk to me, until she is given what she wants ”.

Lilly: “Sometimes I feel I am not loved and then I will be irritated ”.

These demonstrate how children's perceived sense of a lack of appreciation for their work may result in them using inappropriate methods to coerce parents to satisfy their wishes. It also implies that the need for power and control makes some children get fury as a way of challenging their parents' authority. The acts of aggression and conflict, which the children in this study displayedaligns with what Lundberg et al. (2009) describe as child's resistance and hostility. Children' s resistive behaviours engendered a sense of restraint in parents and fear to deal with the situation, since they recognize the children's power, and if they stop working the consequences for the family are dire.

Notwithstanding the financial benefits from child labour, the belligerents ' attitudes of children and the negative parent-child relationships appear unacceptable and injurious to the children and family well-being. This also indicates the challenging circumstances parents experience between their reversed income earning role and children's uncontrollable and combative behaviours. Obviously, these situations illustrate the evil shouse holds suffer when children are engaged in income earning tasks within the Nigerian context (Ugudulunwa, et al., 2004). The financial contribution of children to their house hold soften increases their power as they utilised different tactics such as insubordination, hostility and other aggressive actions, to limit parental influence, resulting in humiliation and the disrespect of parents. As such dealings with parents hinder children from learning appropriate behaviours needed for later life prospects, and it could impede the growth of positive parent-child relationships.

parental power earning conflict

Conclusion and recommendations

The accounts of parents complimented by that of their children in this study illustrate how their role reversal has affected their relationships with their children and how they could not assert their authority. The notion of parental authority and children's influence being unequal or unbalanced is fundamental in parent-child relationships. Parental authority appeared to be hindered as they were afraid of their children's behaviour as well as the possible consequences of their refusal to work and the anxiety of further financial strife. Consequently, conclusion was reached; that parent-child relationship is impeded due to children's disobedience, hostility and aggressive behaviours, because they become the income earners. Although, there could be instances in which child labourers comply with authority of their parents. The situations in this study indicate how parents' capacity to curb children's behaviour and maintain their roles as parents, are constrained due to children's financial contributory role.

The inferences arising from this study indicate that child labour is not a viable option in enhancing family finance, as it threatens children's moral development and parent-child relationships. Therefore, recommendations are made that the indication of the phenomenon should be reported by community members as well as other service providers to social workers to enable assistance provision. A multi-sector collaboration between service agencies, related professionals and community members is needed in view of the multi-faceted challenges of child labour on families. There is the need for information sharing, in order to ensure that various parties work together to strengthen children and parents support systems as well as addressing the phenomenon of child labour effectively. This is because the process of intervention within the interpersonal dimension of child labour and its influences on children and their parents, include awareness-raising amongst other assistances.

Given that the phenomenon of child labour is complex and engagement with clients (children and parents or guardians) is also intricate, social work practitioners should intervene with children and their parents with sensitivity as they require long-lasting intervention.Focus should be to build and strengthen the financial capacity of parents to enable them to care for and support their children. Importantly is the need to utilize social work psychosocial support to address the power dynamics when children are the key breadwinners in the family and encourage children to be respectful to their parents, guardians and adults, irrespective of the circumstances. Hence, intervention initiatives should recognise prioritizing change assistance in order to protect children as well as maintaining parent-child relationships in dealing with the issue of child labour.

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