A pilot study of adaptive and maladaptive relationships between parents and children of senior age

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Rivne State University of the Humanities

A pilot study of adaptive and maladaptive relationships between parents and children of senior age

Hlavinska E., Postgraduate Student

Rivne, Ukraine

Abstract

The purpose of this article is: to show adaptive family relationships, which are greatly influenced by actualization of gender and role identification; to present mother's negative family experience, which also affects maladaptive family relationships with children; to give specificity of conflict relationships in single parent families, and show how these conflicts differ to a large extent from even seemingly similar conflicts in full-parent families; to describe the results of pilot study of adaptive and maladaptive relationships between parents and children of senior age.

Methods of the research. The following theoretical methods of the research were used to solve the tasks formulated in the article: a categorical method, structural and functional methods, the methods of the analysis, systematization, modelling, generalization. The empirical method is a pilot research.

The results of the research. We proved, that as a rule, maladaptive family relationships were considered in psychological literature, in particular, in terms of analysing children's conflicts with adults. At the same time, conflicts between high school students and teachers as significant adults come to the fore. That is, maladaptive family relationships arise as a result of misunderstandings of senior pupils in school interaction (as a result of failure, misunderstandings with teachers on the basis of various issues and problems). At the same time, maladaptive family relationships are analysed only fragmentarily. Senior pupils always show the need to be a full-fledged participant in the interaction, and not a simple witness of certain events. Schoolchildren in senior school age claim that they are busy with certain important matters, perform independent actions, seek to express their attitude to events, but their parents do not always fully imagine how adequate or correct their children's actions are.

Conclusions. We can highlight the personality needs of senior pupils, characteristic of this age period, which amplify adaptive family relationships, such as: the need to independently perform various types of activities, to get pleasure from them; a need to explain the extremely important meaning of one's personality in relation to others, to be needed by others; the need for self-expression, self-presentation, which actualizes considerable interest and self-respect of senior pupils, the desire to justify one's opinion and to have it heard, the desire to protect oneself from aggression on the part of others, but not just to agree silently with the situation that develops, but to be able to object, not to agree, not to accept it, etc., and also not to be guided by it in further activities; the need for multicultural, harmonious communication with adults.

Key words: adaptive family relationships, maladaptive relationships, conflict relationships, multicultural communication, harmonious communication, self-expression, self-presentation, self-respect.

Анотація

Пілотне дослідження адаптивних та дезадаптивних взаємостосунків батьків та дітей старшого шкільного віку

Главінська Е., аспірант, Рівненський державний гуманітарний університет, м. Рівне (Україна)

Мета статті: показати адаптивні сімейні стосунки, на які має неабиякий вплив актуалізація статево-рольової ідентифікації; представити негативний сімейний досвід матері, який також впливає на дезадаптивні сімейні стосунки з дітьми; надати специфіку конфліктним стосункам у неповних сім'ях, показати, чим ці конфлікти значною мірою відрізняються від навіть на перший погляд схожих конфліктів у повних сім'ях; описати результати пілотного дослідження адаптивних і дезадаптивних стосунків між батьками та дітьми старшого віку.

Методи дослідження. Для розв'язання поставлених у статті завдань було використано такі теоретичні методи дослідження: категоріальний метод, структурно-функціональний метод, методи аналізу, систематизації, моделювання, узагальнення. Емпіричним методом було пілотне дослідження.

Результати дослідження. Доведено, що дезадаптивні сімейні взаємостосунки в психологічній літературі розглядаються, зокрема, в плані аналізу конфліктів дітей із дорослими. При цьому на першому плані постають конфлікти старшокласників із вчителями як зі значущими дорослими. Тобто, дезадаптивні сімейні взаємостосунки виникають у результаті непорозумінь старшокласників у шкільній взаємодії (в результаті неуспішності, непорозумінь із вчителями на ґрунті різних питань і проблем). При цьому дезадаптивні сімейні взаємостосунки аналізуються лише фрагментарно. Старшокласники завжди виявляють потребу бути повноцінними учасником взаємодії, а не простим свідком певних подій. Учні в старшому шкільному віці заявляють, що вони зайняті певними важливими справами, виконують самостійні вчинки, прагнуть висловлювати своє ставлення до подій, проте їхні батьки не завжди цілковито уявляють собі, наскільки адекватними або правильними є вчинки їхніх дітей.

Висновки. Ми виокремили потреби особистості старшокласників, характерні цьому віковому періодові, які ампліфікують адаптивні сімейні взаємостосунки, а саме: потреба самостійно виконувати різні види діяльності, отримувати від них задоволення; потреба експлікувати надзвичайно важливе значення своєї особистості по відношенню до інших; потреба у самовираженні, самопрезентації, яка актуалізує у старшокласників неабиякий інтерес і самоповагу, прагнення обґрунтувати свою думку, і щоб її почули, прагнення захиститися від агресії зі сторони інших, проте не просто мовчки погоджуватися із ситуацією, яка складається, а мати змогу заперечити, не погодитися, не прийняти її, тощо, а також не керуватися нею в подальших видах діяльності; потреба в мультикультурному, гармонійному спілкуванні з дорослими.

Ключові слова: адаптивні сімейні стосунки, дезадаптивні взаємостосунки, конфліктні взаємостосунки, мультикультурне спілкування, гармонійне спілкування, самовираження, самопрезентація, самоповага.

Introduction

One side of the problem of maladaptive family relationships is that parents, as a rule, find it quite difficult to meet the absolutely high requirements for high school students that modern society places on these relationships (Bredart, 1991). This problem arose, first of all, as a result of the fact that the values on which parents focused earlier were significantly devalued (for example, if we take into account the Soviet value system and the values of modern society) (Blagovechtchenski, Gnedykh, Kurmakaeva, Mkrtychian, Kostromina, & Shtyrov, 2019). At the same time, the parents did not reorient their own value system to a new, modern, socially acceptable one. As a result, senior pupils do not accept the value-meaning orientations of their parents (Kompluenko, 2020). Therefore, according to senior pupils, the demands of adults take on a purely authoritarian nature, parents do not even try to explain, justify, consult with their child. Such a situation creates another contradiction in the relationship between senior pupils and their parents, because, according to scientists (Боришевський, 1998), senior school age is the age of personal development, in particular soft skills and critical thinking. A senior pupil strives to be balanced and logical in any situation. He/she always criticizes himself/herself, sets high demands on himself/herself and his/her personality. A senior pupil tries to substantiate any event, situation, to prove that they have acted adequately (Mykhalchuk, & Ivashkevych Er., 2019). However, as a result of the fact that parents differ from their children in value-semantic frames, and the discrepancy between meanings and contents becomes significant, considerable barriers arise in communication between parents and senior pupils, which prevents the building of adaptive family relationships in this specific situation (Максименко, Ткач, Литвинчук, & Онуфрієва, 2019).

Modern psychological researches (Бігунов, 2018) emphasize such important characteristics of adaptive family relationships. We are talking about subject-subject relationships, about the nature of the subjective attitude of parents to senior pupils and vice versa, as well as about a certain situation that can lead to maladaptive interaction (Mykhalchuk, Pelekh, Kharchenko, Ivashkevych Ed., Ivashkevych Er., Prymachok, Hupavtseva, & Zukow, 2020). At the same time, as a rule, the child is always recognized as the culprit of the conflict, and this is what the parents, teachers, and even peers and friends of senior pupils believe. In this case, we are talking about the so-called “accusatory position” of senior pupils, which significantly interferes with the psychological reconciliation of parents and children of senior school age, finding compromises in conflict, maladaptive and simply difficult situations of social interaction. In such cases, senior pupils try to “move” to a formal relationship with their parents, to demonstrate so-called “obedience”, which is often imposed on children by their parents, and senior pupils use these situations to seem to take the side of their parents, but, in fact, they are not going to obey and do as they please. At the same time, scientists emphasize that the levelling of the position of “psychological reconciliation” by senior pupils most often leads to so-called psychological disagreement or aggression. And when such aggression occurs, adults turn to a psychologist and start looking for a way out, while senior pupils are quite satisfied with the situation of “psychological reconciliation”.

Also, scientists (Tabachnikov, Mishyiev, Kharchenko, Osukhovskaya, Mykhalchuk, Zdoryk, Komplienko, & Salden, 2021) emphasize that in terms of maladaptive family relationships, adults often take the position of blaming the high school student, and the child, playing along with the adults, moves to the position of self-blame. At the same time, the latter is rather unconstructive, because high school students in these situations behave frankly, they simply lose a certain role or scenario, and sometimes they get used to this scenario so much that they themselves can no longer distinguish their real position from a fictional one (Vovk, Emishyants, Zelenko, Drobot, & Onufriieva, 2020).

Psychologists (Ivashkevych Ed., & Onufriieva, 2021) also actualize our attention on one more point, which, in our opinion, is not given enough attention in the psychological literature. Adults, when observing the process of growing up of a high school student, usually see only negative sides or characteristics in this process: “he/she has become naughty”; “the child does not tell us everything”, our son (daughter) has quite a lot of hidden ideas that he/she does not trust anyone (Tabachnikov, Mishyiev, Drevitskaya, Kharchenko, Osukhovskaya, Mykhalchuk, Salden, & Aymedov, 2021). At the same time, parents do not notice positive characteristics, unique or original, identical features, etc., in the child's personality. For example, parents often note that, in their opinion, a child of high school age has insufficiently developed empathy, in particular, which is manifested in relation to them in particular and to adults in general (Drigas, & Karyotaki, 2017).

Also, parents often accuse their children of unwillingness to support their parents in certain situations, help them, share anxiety, pain or joy. At the same time, parents also reproach children that they are always ready to show sympathy for a senior pupil, but are not ready to accept an unempathetic attitude towards them from the children. Such situations arise, first of all, as a result of the fact that parents do not seek to accept their child's unempathetic attitude towards them (Mykhalchuk, & Onufriieva, 2020). They often do not even try to analyze why this is happening, what caused this situation. However, it should be noted that this analysis of the situation amplifies parents to feel as if they are “on equal footing”, that is, to take the same position with their child. Therefore, in psychological research it is emphasized that problems related to adaptive family relationships between parents and children of senior school age arise precisely because adults demand certain actions and certain attitudes from the child, but do not want to show sympathy, a good attitude, empathy towards their child.

So, the purpose of this article is: to show adaptive family relationships, which are greatly influenced by actualization of gender and role identification; to present mother's negative family experience, which also affects maladaptive family relationships with children; to give specificity of conflict relationships in single-parent families, and show how these conflicts differ to a large extent from even seemingly similar conflicts in full parent families; to describe the results of pilot study of adaptive and maladaptive relationships between parents and children of senior age.

Methods of the research. The following theoretical methods of the research were used to solve the tasks formulated in the article: a categorical method, structural and functional methods, the methods of the analysis, systematization, modelling, generalization. The empirical method is a pilot research. The research was organized in the cities of Kyiv, Lviv and Rivne. Socio-demographic characteristics (age of respondents, their gender) were taken into account.

Results and their discussion

gender role adaptive maladaptive family parents children

In senior school age, adaptive family relationships are greatly influenced by actualization of gender and role identification. This leads to the fact that boys tend to demonstrate purely “masculine behaviour”, and girls - purely “feminine”. However, such behaviour does not always find positive feedback from adults, which also leads to the emergence of conflict situations. Also, psychologists (Івашкевич Ер., & Комарніцька, 2020) note that adaptive family relationships in senior school age are also affected by the desire of pupils to independently perform some actions or activity. This, in turn, largely depends on the acquired personally and professionally significant experience of behaviour, activity, interaction and communication. Taking into account the mentioned patterns of mental development of schoolchildren in senior school age, it should be noted that the nature of interaction with them becomes significantly more complicated with age, the number of conflicts with parents and surrounding adults (as well as with peers) increases, which facilitates the emergence of maladaptive relationships in the family among pupils of senior school age.

Also, it has been repeatedly noted in the psychological literature (Cui, Wang, & Zhong, 2021) that the number of conflict interactions increases significantly when a full family transition into an incomplete one. In this case, the psychological atmosphere in the family relationships changes for better, children see themselves in the paradigm of rather complex psychological problems that are directly related to the absence of a father or mother in the family. All these factors negatively affect the adaptive family relationships of parents and children of senior school age.

The most acute problem in the Ukrainian society is maladaptive family relations between parents and children of senior school age in a case of divorce of their parents. K. Horney (1994) highlights the great dangers of family breakdown when children are in their teens and senior school years. Divorce, the scientist notes, usually gives rise to the feeling in children that they are unwanted, unacceptable to their parents, and only hinder them. In the case of parents' divorce, children experience considerable difficulties regarding the perception of their personality. Sometimes children even lose any meaning in their lives. Children become aggressive, in most cases (in 80% of cases) they blame their mother for kicking their father out, they show aggressiveness and conflict in interaction with others. At the same time, the relationships between children and parents become increasingly maladaptive, take on an indefinite, amorphous character. Senior school pupils, as a rule, do not see a way out of the current situation, often face the choice of who they should live with in the future: with their father or with their mother. All this undoubtedly contributes to the fact that children feel unhappy, useless and even redundant.

Children quite often react extremely negatively to the divorce of their parents. Also, students of senior school age feel confused and quite afraid. Interestingly, in children's experiences, the collective image of divorced parents is often not associated with their divorce from each other. Senior school pupils perceive this process as the separation of one of the parents (who leaves the family) with the child. At the same time, the child often feels the absolute loss of the father (as if he had died), then, at the same time, the child is quite afraid of losing the mother as well, although there are allegedly no prerequisites for this. In most cases, after the divorce of parents, senior school pupils are diagnosed with manifestations of fear, anger and aggression. These reactions are manifestations of maladaptive family relationships in view of the helplessness and confusion of the child, as well as taking into account the betrayal of the parents, as the child perceives it. Children often ask their parents: “How could you live to betray me?” In situations of parental divorce, children, as a rule, develop a conflicting attitude towards one of the parents.

Often, the child will also experience a state of cognitive dissonance, because in his/her mind there is a constant struggle between hatred and love, between aggression and the need to feel protected. It is not unusual for a mother, due to her rather difficult material, socio-economic situation, as well as a result of physical overload in family life due to divorce, simply does not find enough time to take care of the child, often does not understand that the child really needs peace, empathy and patience. In a single-parent family, the parent who is left with the child finds himself/herself in significant danger, because the children perceive this parent as a real, valid enemy, who was the cause of the child's sense of danger. Therefore, a family crisis after a divorce can facilitate the levelling of positive relationships between family members for a long period of time, sometimes for a lifetime. Children, as a rule, will constantly make exaggerated, often unrealistic demands on one of the parents, at the same time, on the one with whom they are left to live. In such situations, it is important for us that the child will often feel a great need from a significant adult, will strive for his life to be filled with love. Also, this significant adult must be very reliable, because he must in any case protect the child from danger, which will often arise in the social space.

It should also be noted that most mothers cannot create the most positive, materially provided conditions for the child to feel harmony, psychological and physical protection, comfort, etc. Therefore, quite often, losing parental authority, the parents (or one of them) have a real conflict with the child, because the child stops obeying the morally “weak” mother. After divorcing her husband, the wife is in an unstable mental state, but she requires her children to be patient, reasonable, empathetic, to show mental balance and to control their feelings in all situations. Therefore, a situation is created, as if mother and child expect from each other what they cannot give each other. All this leads to the opposite psychological effect: the mother seems to have never before shown such a great ability to be influenced by the child's interests as at this moment in time. At the same time, and never before, with the exception of the first few years of life, a child did not require such attention, such care and so much emotional warmth from the mother. It is on this contradiction or opposition that the dynamics of the crisis of family relations in many children after the divorce of their parents will be based. All this leads to quite significant burdensome consequences in child-parent family relationships, and, as a rule, to various kinds of conflicts, deviant behaviour, sometimes they even start using psychoactive substances.

Often in a single-parent family, the mother, fearing that the child without a father will fall under a negative influence, begin to commit deviant actions or even commit a crime, may begin to use psychoactive substances (this is especially dangerous in senior school age), tries to fulfil the role of a father, therefore, he will raise the child rather strictly, even despotically, and will constantly and obsessively control his child. Often, as a result of such upbringing, aggressive relations between mother and child can occur, the mother can lose contact with the child, her love and support. The ability to feel the child, the desire to come to her aid, to support her is reduced. If there are changes in the mother's personality, and the mother begins to treat the child in a completely different way than the child is used to, then the child may feel that she is losing her mother in the psychological sense of the word. At the same time, the mother's personality in the eyes of the child remains as if completely real, attainable, but her qualities, which were perceived by the child as the best, the child begins to accept as those that she has “lost” forever.

Thus, children after the divorce of their parents:

- react quite sharply to the irritation of one of the parents (with whom the child remained), perceive family relationships as a complete rejection of life as it is, as a lack of joy and family happiness. Children will constantly be in a state of mental discomfort and anxiety;

- they experience the father's move quite painfully (if the child stayed with the mother) and, feeling a state of cognitive dissonance, transfer their resentment towards the father directly to their attitude towards the mother. As a rule, such a situation occurs as a result of the fear of losing one's mother as well (meaning “loss” in both the psychological and physical sense of the word);

- often feel abandoned not only by the father, but also by the mother (in case the child stayed with her), because the mother tries to provide material support for the family, the usual way of life, and therefore works more time, pays very little attention to her to children;

- often suffer from inappropriately increased guardianship by one of the parents with whom the child is left, for example, when the mother tries to fill in the lack of parental love, care and positive attitude with her own hyper attention and not always appropriate caresses;

- suffer from depression, have poor academic performance and lack of discipline at school, at the same time, they are jealous of children from full families and are not always able to communicate with them on an equal footing;

- are deprived of the opportunity to fully develop, because their family (especially boys, when they are raised by a single mother) does not have an example of an adequate male attitude to life in general, or in the case when the father himself has inadequate behaviour, bad habits, and children have already mastered such habitual for them pathological patterns of behaviour and activity.

A high probability of maladjustment in family relationships after divorce depends, as a rule, on the expectations of a mother (or a father) from the child (and vice versa), as well as on many other situational characteristics and circumstances.

During the period of amplification of maladaptive family relationships, as a rule, both the mother and the child are significantly deprived of opportunities to resolve conflict situations. These situations in a certain period of time turned out to be real, such that can be easily solved (for example, the resolution of conflictual relationships thanks to the intervention of a third person - a grandmother, the aunt, etc.). As a rule, in such a case, the scenario of help from a kind, empathetic and loving “the third person” is fixed in the child's mind for the rest of his/her life, which will undoubtedly help compensate for the “bitter”, joyless life moments that take place in relationships with a significant “Others”. This attitude will contribute to the neutralization of the child's aggressiveness, will significantly reduce the appearance of aggression, rejection, and fear. In families in which children begin to use psychoactive substances, conflicts with parents (or with one of the parents) become all-encompassing.

Also, in different families, depending on whether this family is complete or incomplete, the mother will perceive the child's relationship with the father differently. For example, in a complete family, the mother usually perceives the communication and interaction of the child with the father as a normal, adequate, positively labelled situation. But if the mother is divorced, then all situations of interpersonal interaction in the family become much more difficult. For example, if the child, having quarrelled with the mother, suddenly starts calling the father, then the mother can become completely angry, can quarrel with the child, shout at him: “You can go to your father!”, “Well, go and live with dad”. Emotionally angry mothers, as a rule, do not invest in these phrases the real meaning that they contain. On the one hand, the child may feel even more desperate after hearing such a phrase. On the other hand, the child will feel a victory over the mother, and as a result it is a great satisfaction, because he has achieved his goal by humiliating the mother. In the third case, on the contrary, the child realizes that she is superfluous, because the mother tells her to go away, and the father has already left the family, he does not pay attention to the child. In such families, the child begins to feel confused, despair, the hopelessness of his situation, as well as often anger towards the mother. Therefore, it is not at all accidental that such children begin to look for another social micro-group that is most significant for them, which leads to absolute dependence on this micro-group in psychological and social terms.

The mother's negative family experience also affects maladaptive family relationships with children. For example, before their divorce, the parents already had conflicting family relationships, which is why they led to the divorce. As a rule, this destructive conflict experience of communication with children is also explained in relationships with children. A child, starting from observing conflicts between parents, also often indirectly, passively participates in them, at the same time, mastering certain patterns of behaviour and activity. Determinants of conflictual relations between mother and child can be the mother's love for the father, and in the way the conflictual interaction unfolds, the child causes considerable pain and suffering to the mother. Often, a mother tries to reassure her child that her father is a very bad, worthless person. Facilitation of children's negative perception of each other can lead to conflicts in family relationships. And then family relationships will be unhappy, unproductive, destructive, etc. The aggressive attitude of the mother towards the child's father often leads to conflicts, when the ex-husband has a fear of losing the child's love as well, and he begins to “fight” for the child's acceptance of himself. At the same time, the mother perceives the child's good relationship with the father as a real danger that must be prevented. The father, in turn, will try to return or win the love of his child from the very beginning, and then the parents begin to transfer their faults and mistakes to each other. At the same time, the child finds himself/herself in the role of a witness, perceives the conflict situation as if from the side, from the outside, although he often understands that there were no prerequisites for creating conflict situations between the child and one of the family members with whom the child lives.

Therefore, there is a completely acceptable specificity of conflict relationships in single-parent families, and these conflicts differ to a large extent from even seemingly similar conflicts in full-parent families. At the same time, all the features of family relationships listed by us create a harmonious, integral social situation of the child's development and the formation of his/her personality. From this point of view, the interest for our dissertation research is a comparative study of the psychological characteristics of the personality of senior school pupils, their significant personal characteristics (we mean children who live in both single-parent and single-parent families).

As it was stated in foreign studies, the maladaptive family relationships of parents and children of senior school age can be built into some universal model using the method of psychological modelling. This model will emphasize that it is not uncommon for senior pupils to revaluate universal and family values in a negative direction as a result of the deterioration of general living conditions, when the individual development of the child's personality will lose social approval and support. Such maladaptive family relationships are observed in Ukraine in the current period of time, since February 24, 2022, when the war begins, families lose their homes, are forced to change their permanent place of residence, and often go abroad. In such situations, maladaptive family relationships are also actualized by the difficulties faced by both parents and senior pupils abroad (these difficulties arise as a result of not knowing a foreign language, difficulties in communication and interaction in society, unfamiliarity with or rejection of social norms, values of another society as personally significant).

Therefore, maladaptive family relationships in the families we have given as examples facilitate the emergence of maladaptive value-oriented and value-meaning activities of members of social groups and micro-groups. In situations of forced relocation abroad, senior pupils often experience an “erasure” of the classification of any actions into those that can be considered “correct” and “incorrect”, “good” and “bad”, “adequate” and “inadequate”.

We organized a pilot study in which 185 senior pupils of secondary education institutions No 2, 5, 7, 12, 23 of Rivne participated. It has been proven that maladaptive family relationships of senior pupils with their parents, as a rule, take place as a result of certain reasons. About 27% of male senior pupils and 25% of female senior pupils believed that the cause of maladaptive family relationships is an undemocratic, authoritarian style of family upbringing. 21% of male respondents and 27% of female respondents believed that the style of upbringing in the family is unacceptable, humiliating, such that it does not contribute to the personal development of children. 28% of male senior pupils and 23% of female senior pupils claim that maladaptive family relationships arise as a result of the fact that parents and children do not understand each other. Accordingly, 24% of male respondents and 25% of female respondents name other reasons for maladaptive relationships in their families.

During September 2023, we interviewed 65 senior pupils of secondary education institutions No. 2, 15 of Rivne. All these schoolchildren moved abroad when the war started in Ukraine (February 24, 2022) and returned to Ukraine by September 2023. According to the results obtained by us, more than 80% of senior pupils suffer from the fact that they do not have proper communication with their parents. They claim more attention from their parents, claim that their parents give them very little time. Senior pupils also say that they do not receive advice from their parents when they need it, and their parents do not help them solve problems and conflicts. However, at the same time, only 25% of senior pupils showed absolute readiness to subordinate their behaviour and activities to parental advice and suggestions. They claimed that parents are not always right, so they do not listen to their advice and suggestions. In addition, 42% of senior pupils claimed that they do not accept the life position of their parents as it is, do not respect it, because parental values for them are not those that should be accepted as personally significant and oriented to them in problematic situations and conflicts.

So, as a rule, maladaptive family relationships are considered in psychological literature, in particular, in terms of analysing children's conflicts with adults. At the same time, conflicts between high school students and teachers as significant adults come to the fore. That is, maladaptive family relationships arise as a result of misunderstandings of senior pupils in school interaction (as a result of failure, misunderstandings with teachers on the basis of various issues and problems). At the same time, maladaptive family relationships are analysed only fragmentarily. Senior pupils always show the need to be a full-fledged participant in the interaction, and not a simple witness of certain events. Schoolchildren in senior school age claim that they are busy with certain important matters, perform independent actions, seek to express their attitude to events, but their parents do not always fully imagine how adequate or correct their children's actions are.

Conclusions

So, based on the scientific studies we analysed, which have delt with adaptive family relationships of parents and children of senior school age, we can highlight the personality needs of senior pupils, characteristic of this age period, which amplify adaptive family relationships, such as:

- the need to independently perform various types of activities, to get pleasure from them. The latter in high school age is one of the ways of self-expression, which, according to senior pupils, should be highly valued by peers. Such an assessment is extremely significant for the schoolchildren, compared, in particular, with the assessment of his/her educational activity, the content of which is not always important and significant for the pupil at the senior school age;

- a need to explain the extremely important meaning of one's personality in relation to others, to be needed by others, regardless of all one's individual qualities, characteristics, advantages and disadvantages, the need not to feel inferior from the side of family members, other adults, as well as peers;

- the need for self-expression, self-presentation, which actualizes considerable interest and self-respect of senior pupils, the desire to justify one's opinion and to have it heard, the desire to protect oneself from aggression on the part of others, but not just to silently agree with the situation that develops, but to be able to object, not to agree, not to accept it, etc., and also not to be guided by it in further activities;

- the need for multicultural, harmonious communication with adults, which is explained in protest actions against commanding, dominant forms of communication. In response to commanding or dominant forms of interaction, pupils of senior age, as a rule, do not fulfil the essential requirements of adults, but try to go into open conflict with them.

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